1Cor 7:1-5 - The Marriage-Go-Round - Part 1

1-5 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

As a testimony to the process of growth in the enlightenment of the understanding we see that some of the Corinthians were aware of the need for moral purity, but somewhat confused about the practical applications. Some had apparently written to Paul for clarification.

It ought not to be surprising that misunderstandings about rather simple things arose in the early church because they certainly arise in the modern church also. There is a principle at work in the world and, indeed, in our very own flesh, that mitigates against receiving properly and clearly what God has clearly spoken. We are perverse and hard and dull of understanding - yes, even the regenerate are that way. We have the remnants of the havoc of sin in our being even though we are being changed from glory to glory. We do not believe as we ought to. We need the grace of God to reveal the truth to us as believers. Remember that the Apostle wrote, "If the righteous is scarcely saved, what will become of the ungodly and the sinner?" {1Pe 4:18 Pr 11:31}

So we don’t think of ourselves as somehow having been transformed into supermen because we have received a new heart and an inclination to follow after God. We are beset with the same infirmities that harass every lost soul - darkness, confusion, vulnerability, spiritual ignorance, biased and twisted understanding, disinclination towards spiritual things, rebellion against the Hand that made and sustains us. But we have the blessing of Christ in us, the hope of glory. There is a power at work in God’s children that the world cannot know and does not understand. It is the power of God flowing from the justification we have on account of the finished work of Christ.

So when we see the early church confused about the institution of marriage and about sexuality it comes as no surprise. Celibacy, monasticism and the perpetual virginity of women did not spring full-orbed from medieval theology. The seeds of error regarding these things were present in the Apostolic age and they were budding and blooming as early as the second century. Unchecked, they corrupted the church with false and misleading concepts that are not to be found in the teachings of Christ.

Marriage was good. God instituted it from the very beginning for a good and noble purpose. On one level it was necessary for the fullest expression of humanity. Reproduction of the race, the raising up of children unto the Lord, was always a good and right thing. On top of this, the fundamental principle of two personalities united in a relationship where mutual good and service are primary is reflective of the relationship that exists within the Godhead. It gives us some basis upon which to meditate upon the nature of God and the Trinity of persons within the unity of His Being.

On the other hand, the Lord Himself indicated that some men were born eunuchs and others were made eunuchs by men, but that some become eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of God. {Mt 19:12} Nowhere is this laid down as a mandatory matter of law, but it is given so that we might understand that it is for the sake of obedience to the call of God that a person may abstain from joining himself to another in marriage.

In the first century, when the parousia was expected at any moment with a very real sense of imminence, some people were putting off marriage, canceling plans or refusing to make them because they assumed they would not be around for very long. Some were already confused about the nature of the body and its relationship to immorality. In the Corinthian culture it was true that some of them had weak consciences about sexuality since its improper use was precisely what they had been saved from. This is somewhat akin to the idea that reformed smokers make the most virulent anti-smoking lobbyists. But the Bible gives us the best example when it speaks of whether it is alright to eat meat sacrificed to idols.

If I have misused my body and sinned greatly, and now I have come to faith in Christ, it may be that I mistakenly think that the body itself was to blame - that bodily functions and desires are themselves evil. This is a great error. It is always from the heart, in the mind and the will, that sin is born. All things that are provided and ordained of God are good. Paul makes that point about sexuality and marriage here. It is not sex that is evil, nor the body that God created for its enjoyment - but what is evil is the corrupted way in which men and women partake of the good things God has given.

Sex is good within the confines of an exclusive marital relationship in which fidelity and mutual sacrificial love under God is the motivation. Temporary abstinence is good within this relationship, when mutually agreed and for the purposes of following closely after God in personal devotion. But the prolonged denial of sexuality and sexual urges within marriage gives opportunity for the devil to lead a person astray. We are still fallen creatures, albeit on the way to glory. And we are still capable of corrupting the good impulses that God has built into our nature. We are broken. We are vulnerable. We are always in danger and the devil will seek to attack us at our most vulnerable point - and he will use any means that provides an opening.

The devil will use the natural sex drive to trip us - or he will be equally happy if we blaspheme and misrepresent God by some sort of self-denial that punishes the body, thinking it makes us holier or close to God in and of itself. Immorality and legalism are equally welcome to the devil.

Yet the way through it all is simple enough if we would but harken to God. God is good. God has provided good things for us. God made us and our bodies in love, for love and intimacy with Himself and others. God has defined how this love and intimacy was designed to work and how it ought to be pursued even though we are fallen and marred creatures. Singleness is good. Marriage is good. But whatever condition a person chooses, that choice must be from faith or it will be sin.