Outlook Expressed, Grimly - With Hope of Change

I wish I could say "I got my M-SOE workin' (but it just won't work on you)" Unfortunately it won't work on anybody. What's my M-SOE? Read on...

I have been very satisfied with MSOutlook Express for a number of years. My friend, Peter, has often tried to encourage me to use the heftier MSOutlook but, though MSOutlook has more features, those features are ones I neither need nor want. And there are some things the beefier program either won't do, or won't do the way I like, that just turn me off.

That said, Outlook Express just jumped up and bit me in the last few days. You kinda expect software to have a hiccup once in a while, and I am not one of those who blames Mrs. Gates' little boy for all the ills in the world. But when things go wrong for me in Redmond they go wrong with a capital "S" (that's "S" for SNAFU which, in case anyone doesn't know, means "situation normal - all fouled up").

At this point, the really discerning reader will notice that Agonizomai uses a "Hotmail" account, and may wonder why I'm unfairly blogging about blaming Messrs. Ballmer and Gates for my e-mail woes. I'm not, actually. But even I have a life outside of the blogosphere (though sometimes not much of one) and for that life I use a different e-mail address, which is on my ISP's server. To access that account I have traditionally used MSOutlook Express. Phew! Glad I got that all down on paper.

Yesterday, for no appearent reason, MSOutlook Express threw a hissy-fit and refused to load, sticking its tongue out at me and declaring, without a hint of shame, "Outlook Express could not be started because MSOE.DLL could not be loaded." But, like I said, it's software and every now and then something is bound to go wrong. All you have to do is fix the problem, right? Find out how - and then fix it. Simple.

A Whirling Dervish Actually Whirling

That was said with all the naivté of a non-techie ignoramus. Nothing is simple in the unseen world of zeroes and ones that whirl around like light-speed Dervishes to produce the neat little boxes on our screens. I found this out when I Googled the problem, hoping to horn in on the collective wisdom of those who had gone before me - sorta like reading all those Christian authors from bygone ages in order to benefit from their collective wisdom, and to avoid reinventing the wheel (or the entire faith).

Well, the best I could come up with was some guy advising a re-load of Outlook Express after backing up the files (mbx, idx, wab etc.) I thought about that - for a New York minute - and realized that my own copy of Outlook Express had been installed from ISP's software about half a century ago - and had been updated from time to time via the Windows Update facility. I could have copied the necessary e-mail files to a folder on, say, the desktop easily enough - but I had a gazillion Microsoft IE patches installed that my old software would probably take one look at and go shrieking into the ether, complaining about how things are not the same as they used to be; kinda like all those people in the church who hold to tradition as a means of denying change. (You see how you can't win whichever way you go!)

Theseus Slaying the Minotaur

So I broke down and went to the Microsoft website expecting that a solution was just a keystroke away. Fat chance! Four times I got absolutely lost in the Minotaur's maze that they call a download section. Four times I fought my way out (Theseus eat your heart out!) - but without the information I needed. I circled the site like a wolf looking for a weakness - an opening - that would give me the chance to dart in and pounce on the paltry packet of data that I needed. It was them against me - a primal dance of predator and prey. At last I found something that looked like it might do the job - a modest and disarming little creature called "ie6setupOe.exe" which I was assured would enable me to reload Outlook Express and - away to the races...! I walked right over the seemingly inoccuous notice that advised me that this file was packaged together with an Internet Explorer update. My bad!

Breathless with anticipation, I downloaded that baby, made a copy of my critical data files, closed all my other programs and hit the launch button. At which point another tongue was stuck out and a glib message appeared saying "Installation cancelled because a newer version of Internet Explorer has already been installed." Grrrr... Now, unlike my Agonizomai account at Hotmail, my regular e-mail account does receive more than one item a month. I depend upon it for communication with friends, family and to receive a number of newsletters that interest me. I don't like to be without it. So I wanted a fix - desperately.

For a moment I thought about asking my friend, Peter, to help me sort it all out - but then I had my own moment of madness and downloaded another mail program that promised to be every bit as good as Outlook Express and then some. With a heavy dose of the faithless thought "Yeah, that's what they all say!" running through my head I did it anyway. I downloaded the "Mozilla Thunderbird" e-mail client - more out of desperation than conviction (because, like the people I criticized obliquely above, I hate change myself).

Normally, I am one of those people that can take a small problem like the one described here and, by applying all my intelligence and creativity, make it 10 times worse than it was to start with. Let's say I am sometimes the Stan Laurel of solutions. So, when I installed this "Thunderbird" thing I was almost expecting a complete computer meltdown. But - O, happy day! It not only installed itself flawlessly but also gathered together all my necessary Outlook Express data files and settings, making a seamless transition from one application to the other. There wasn't even the hint of a problem. In fact, I was, perversely, a bit insulted that after initial startup the installation program didn't see fit to ask me a single question. It didn't need me at all. (Which reminds me of another doctrine of Scripture - but I won't go into that right now).

Thunderbird has the look and feel of my old mail program but with a number of advantages, such as its ability to handle RSS feeds from news sources and from other blogs. I like it already. And already, I don't care if the mavens at Microsoft have a hidden "fix"that will get my M-SOE working. In fact, I'm beginning to wonder if Mozilla Firefox might just not be a better bet than MSIE 6. Who knows, I might get to actually like change? - Nah! But there's always hope...